my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
