I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
