The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
