You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
