Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
