I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
