Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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