my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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