I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
one might say we're banned from that church
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
