I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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