i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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