Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
