Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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