How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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