Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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