I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
