The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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