now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
