She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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