I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
