You made me cry and you don't even care
You just made me feel so damn special
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize