Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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