I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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