yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
