I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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