Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
