This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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