Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
