i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
