i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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