I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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