So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
