This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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