The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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