And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
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Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
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I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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