obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
