You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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