He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
