He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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