once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
