My hair reeks of homosexuality.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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