You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
