I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
ttyl tear gas
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
