we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
