Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
