The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize