So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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