I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
