No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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