hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
