I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
