i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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