It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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