5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
