Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you made out with another girl for some wings
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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