I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize