you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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