She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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