bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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