Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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